This post is exactly the type of post I try to avoid. Ranty, emotional, us versus them, choppy sentences… But I have to get it out. You’ve been warned, I guess??
Raise your hand if you’ve seen the phrase “Why did they even have kids?” among a group of homeschoolers in reference to public schoolers.
*a millionteen hands raise*
Being new to the homeschool world, I spend a good bit of time as a spectator in online groups, social gatherings, etc. And if you’ve had any amount of experience in these situations, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
At the end of the public school year, public school teachers get a scathing because, “How dare they be so relieved for time off. They should probably find a new career if they hate kids that much.” Public school parents get a similar treatment because, “How dare they be exhausted a week into Summer break. They don’t even know how to exist with their children.” And then in the fall, “Look at these parents posting funny pictures of their sweet babies going back to school. How can they be so happy their children are leaving? Their kids must be so sad their parents hate them. HOW DARE THEY!”
Homeschool Mom…Stop. Sweet Baby Jesus, please, stop. I have such a hard time seeing these sentiments from what’s supposed to be “my community.”
I struggle with these topics because even though I firmly believe staying home and family based education is the best choice for my family… I don’t always love it.
When Grandma hauls the kids to her house for the weekend, I do a giddy jig. #noshame
When they’ve been gone two days and my husband mentions missing them, I laugh and laugh and continue to roll around gleefully on my crumbless sofa.
When my kids ask to play, my innards groan the groaniest groan ever.
I can 110% sympathize with the public school mom who is absolutely exhausted by the change of routine summer break carries. I can feel the relief of the September mom, finally getting a moment to breathe a quiet breath. The mom doubting her ability to homeschool because she’s afraid she will literally lose her mind and ruin her relationship with her children? I get that.
Most of us don’t choose our path based on what’s easy or the most pleasant. We choose what we choose because it’s what we need to do and what we feel called towards. Motherhood can be utterly soul crushing at times. That’s the real truth for some of us. I have ugly cried in the shower more times than I can count because it’s just so hard, and it has diddly squat to do with homeschooling vs public schooling.
I love my children. With a fierceness. And so do most of those public school parents. When we make a lighthearted joke (a disguised plea for just a bit of reassurance and comradery), I’ll tell ya… It sucks being told we shouldn’t even be parents at all. How dare we not fart sunshine 24/7? How dare we take two seconds to express that parenthood, in any form, can be difficult?
How dare we be honest and trust that our children won’t one day hate us for it?
Hop down off your high rise pony and practice what you preach, homeschool mom. Kindness, understanding, patience. If you’ve got your business SO together, then you won’t mind offering a helping hand or listening ear instead of an upturned nose and righteous indignation.